I’m often asked the same question: “So, are you going to try for a boy?”

The truth is, I don’t think about parenting in terms of being a “girl dad” or a “boy dad.” I just think about what it takes to be a good parent—and that requires sacrifice, consistency, and a whole lot of love.

Parenting isn’t about living the life you want untouched—it’s about reshaping your life around the needs of your kids. For me, that means late nights reviewing homework, rearranging my schedule to be present at their games, or skipping activities that childless adults get to enjoy without thought.

It also means joining them in their world. I dig in the dirt if that’s what they’re into. We play dress-up. We have dance parties in the living room. We volunteer in our neighborhood together. I follow their lead because I want them to know their interests matter, that their joy matters.

Of course, there are experiences my daughters will have that I will never fully understand—I’m not a woman. But that doesn’t mean I can’t walk alongside them with openness, empathy, and unconditional love.

Activists are a big part of their lives too. I encourage them to play sports and Martial Arts not just for exercise, but because sports teach lessons that go beyond the field—teamwork, resilience, and the connection between hard work and results.  Being comfortable with the uncomfortable transcends boy/girl. Those are lessons I want them to carry into every corner of their lives.

At the core of it all, my goal is simple: to give my daughters a better foundation than I had. A better education. A stronger sense of belonging. A confidence that no matter what path they choose, they are loved and supported.

So, do I wish I had a son? No. What I have is four daughters, each with her own personality, dreams, and rebellious attitude at times and that’s more than enough.

I also try to be the partner I wish I had growing up. My daughters are watching me all the time—not just in how I show up for them, but in how I show up for their mom, for our family, and even for our community.

They’re learning what respect looks like, how to treat others with kindness, and what it means to share responsibilities at home. If I want them to one day expect healthy relationships in their own lives, then I need to live that example in mine.

Parenting isn’t perfect. I stumble, I get tired, I lose my patience sometimes. But I keep showing up. Because I know that in the end, they won’t remember whether they won every Judo match I made them compete in. They’ll remember if I was present. If I loved them openly. If I made them feel safe, seen, and supported.